Insecure People

Characteristics Of Insecure People

Life can be difficult for truly insecure people. Most of us have our moments when we don't know if we are quite up to the task at hand, or feel we're in a situation we don't feel we have much control over. It can happen at home, on the job, in school, anywhere.

Usually we can shake such moments of insecurity off, but there are those around us, the truly insecure, for which every day brings on not only new challenges, but carries along yesterday's challenges as well. One of the hallmarks of insecure people is their need to constantly defend what to them is their comfort zone. None of us likes to get out of our comfort zone, but most of us recognize the need to do so from time to time, and the most adventurous seem to relish the prospect. If you are at all insecure, a life of adventure is not going to be your cup of tea.

Some of those who have strong feelings of insecurity are easy to spot. Others can put on quite an act, as if they were the most secure people in the world. The facade is often quite fragile however, as their seeming superiority complex can often fall to pieces at the slightest challenge. These are people who constantly strive to get others to do their work, and are willing to take credit but not assume responsibilities.

Insecure people often have a desperate need to be accepted and tend to go along with the crowd, reluctant to stick out or voice their own opinion, if they have one, for fear of not being liked. We all experience a little of this from time to time, although there are those free-thinkers and free spirits who don't mind one bit going against the grain (God bless 'em).

Brainwashing - Sometimes people become insecure because such feelings are imposed on them by events. A demanding or controlling boss, wife, or husband can, over time, turn a well balanced person into one who has come to believe he or she cannot do much of anything, much less do anything right, and any desire to be innovative or show initiative is stifled. In other words, the spirit has been broken. Failing at something can also bring on feelings of insecurity. Some can climb back up on the horse; some cannot, or won't try.

Some Are Losers, Most Are Not - Insecure people aren't necessarily losers, in fact most of them probably are not. Some are very successful, but as they rise through the corporate ranks often become more and more paranoid, believing that many of their peers are out to get them. Sometimes the Peter Principle kicks in, where person gets a series of promotions and is eventually promoted into a position he or she is truly incapable of handing. This is where a person who is not very secure can really become unglued. That person not only feels incompetent, and has felt so all along, but suddenly is thrust into a situation that seems to confirm it.

We have to be a little careful about putting labels on people as being secure or insecure. Feelings or acts of insecurity can be transitory, or they can be deep rooted. Some insecure people will respond positively to acts or words of encouragement, as long as those words and acts are sincere. Some just need a small victory or two begin gaining self confidence. Others, perhaps the majority, will try to remain out of the limelight and stay back in the shadows, their comfort zone. Others will continue to devote their efforts to proving to the world that they belong, even though they're convinced otherwise. One thing is for sure, like the poor, the insecure will always be with us.