Unhappy Marriage Or Unhappy Partner?
Having an unhappy marriage or having an unhappy partner is not always one and the same thing. Some marriage partners seem to thrive on arguing, and even fighting. Some partners are unhappy, no matter what, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage is in trouble.
The reason for saying this is that there are indeed telltale signs when a marriage is in danger of coming apart, but the signs can in some cases be misleading, and there are those instances where there doesn't seem to be any sign of trouble whatsoever. That doesn't mean the signs aren't there, but they may be very subtle or well disguised.
Having said that, an unhappy partner can lead to an unhappy marriage, especially if the partner is unhappy about the marriage. That's sounds a little trite, but a partner can be unhappy with the house, with the town the couple lives in, even with his or her in-laws. That doesn't mean the marriage is in trouble, but it does mean the marriage could eventually be in trouble if certain steps aren't taken.
Here are a three signs which at the very least are worth paying attention to. They aren't given in any particular order of importance, so if the first one listed seems rather unimportant, it might well be, or it could be a sign that a marriage is about to fall apart.
Shopping - Women are for the most part considered to enjoy shopping much more than men do. For many women, shopping is an important part of their social lives. So men, if your wife goes shopping, it's not a sign of trouble, but if the credit card payments start ratcheting up, and there's a lot more shopping going on than usual, it could be a sign that something is amiss. Shopping may be an even more telltale sign when men are involved, especially if hubby suddenly starts splurging on newer and more expensive toys. Most men like toys, and never completely grow up in that respect, but at some point toys begin to take precedence over the spouse, and that is a definite sign of trouble brewing. Credit card charges for flowers the wife never sees are red flags, big ones.
Hobbies - Everyone should have a hobby, or a least something interesting and hopefully worthwhile to spend part of one's time on. In most happy marriages at least one of the partners has a hobby, often both do, and sometimes they share the same hobby. If either spouse begins taking on new hobbies, or spending more and more time on existing ones, in effect living in an entirely different world than the one the marriage is based on, it can be a sign of trouble. Men tend to be more guilty of this than women. Sometimes a hobby can grow into an obsession. That's a different story though, but it can lead to a marriage breakup as well if the obsession becomes complete. In this case the one partner may love the other, but the hobby has become number one on the priority list.
Communication - Aside from infidelity, a lack of communication is one of the main reasons for an unhappy marriage. A lack of desire to communicate tends to be a short term situation. The problem is, this lack of communication if allowed to linger on, can become entrenched, and eventually the couple has essentially forgotten how to communicate. Even if they still love one another, or think they do, they are no longer sharing the world the way they once did, but are in effect going their separate ways. They may never leave one another, but will certainly grow apart spiritually.
To lump communication, or the lack of it, in with shopping and hobbies may seem a little odd, but the signs of an unhappy marriage are many and varied. One can find other things besides shopping and hobbies to point to, but no matter what is substituted, it inevitably boils down to a breakdown in communication.